1 00:00:02,560 --> 00:00:12,570 * 2 00:00:12,610 --> 00:00:25,590 * 3 00:00:27,290 --> 00:00:30,590 Good evening, television viewers. 4 00:00:30,630 --> 00:00:34,660 Before we continue with tonight's motion picture, 5 00:00:34,700 --> 00:00:36,670 allow me to call your attention 6 00:00:36,700 --> 00:00:39,430 to some of the bargains available 7 00:00:39,470 --> 00:00:44,670 in our used rocket division down at Honest Alfred's. 8 00:00:44,710 --> 00:00:48,710 All our rockets are late one-owner models, 9 00:00:48,740 --> 00:00:50,910 with very low mileage. 10 00:00:50,950 --> 00:00:55,120 In fact, some never even got off the ground. 11 00:00:55,150 --> 00:00:57,720 They are also simple to operate. 12 00:00:57,750 --> 00:01:01,420 Provided you know how to count to one. 13 00:01:01,460 --> 00:01:04,760 Listen to these typical bargains. 14 00:01:04,790 --> 00:01:08,100 "Avant-garde rocket, complete with extras. 15 00:01:08,130 --> 00:01:14,100 This exceptional bargain traveled only 250 miles 16 00:01:14,140 --> 00:01:18,570 before falling into the water off Cape Canaveral." 17 00:01:18,610 --> 00:01:23,350 Or perhaps you'd be interested in a late-model Thor which 18 00:01:23,380 --> 00:01:27,780 still has the original mouse in its nose cone. 19 00:01:27,820 --> 00:01:29,720 But now, for our movie. 20 00:01:29,750 --> 00:01:35,620 It is a one-minute condensation of a 1935 hit. 21 00:01:38,190 --> 00:01:51,910 * 22 00:01:51,940 --> 00:01:55,280 (traffic sounds) 23 00:02:03,220 --> 00:02:05,050 How was the party, John? 24 00:02:05,050 --> 00:02:05,950 It was expensive. 25 00:02:06,050 --> 00:02:07,260 That's how it was. 26 00:02:07,290 --> 00:02:10,330 It's a good thing we only have an anniversary once a year. 27 00:02:10,360 --> 00:02:12,660 Don't know what there is to celebrate, anyway. 28 00:02:15,230 --> 00:02:17,130 It don't pay to get excited, John. 29 00:02:17,170 --> 00:02:18,330 Who's excited? 30 00:02:18,370 --> 00:02:20,200 My wife acted perfectly normal. 31 00:02:20,240 --> 00:02:22,300 You could hear her purr through the whole performance 32 00:02:22,340 --> 00:02:25,370 like a rattlesnake in a small paper bag. 33 00:02:25,410 --> 00:02:26,940 Get me some water, Dad. 34 00:02:30,110 --> 00:02:32,080 And when the party's over out at the country club, 35 00:02:32,080 --> 00:02:34,920 I walk out into the lobby, just as nice as you please, 36 00:02:34,950 --> 00:02:37,090 and I say to the manager, "Send me the bill". 37 00:02:37,090 --> 00:02:38,850 Just as simple as that. 38 00:02:38,890 --> 00:02:41,160 But not for Dorothy. 39 00:02:41,190 --> 00:02:43,220 "Why don't you pay the man now," she says. 40 00:02:43,260 --> 00:02:44,790 "What are we, a couple of paupers, John?" 41 00:02:44,830 --> 00:02:45,960 Right in front of everybody. 42 00:02:45,990 --> 00:02:47,600 I could have killed her right there. 43 00:02:47,630 --> 00:02:51,170 I could have stuffed her big mouth with that $60 hat of hers. 44 00:02:54,770 --> 00:02:57,370 That's $1,000 I could have turned over on this lot 45 00:02:57,410 --> 00:03:00,040 two or three times before I even got the bill! 46 00:03:00,080 --> 00:03:01,910 I'll go get some hamburgers, John. 47 00:03:01,940 --> 00:03:03,210 What do I want with hamburgers? 48 00:03:03,240 --> 00:03:06,720 I just had lamb chops for $482. 49 00:03:06,750 --> 00:03:08,150 A nice cup of coffee, John? 50 00:03:08,180 --> 00:03:11,890 You always feel better with a nice cup of coffee. 51 00:03:11,920 --> 00:03:13,420 Yeah, I guess so. 52 00:03:29,570 --> 00:03:31,440 Hey, look at this one here. 53 00:03:31,470 --> 00:03:32,310 No, no, no. 54 00:03:32,340 --> 00:03:33,540 Nice paint job, huh? 55 00:03:33,580 --> 00:03:35,710 Yeah, but what's that got to do with what we want it for? 56 00:03:35,740 --> 00:03:36,710 What's wrong with it? 57 00:03:36,750 --> 00:03:37,550 It's empty. 58 00:03:37,580 --> 00:03:39,810 It's too new. 59 00:03:43,320 --> 00:03:46,220 That's nice, all right. 60 00:03:46,250 --> 00:03:48,090 Okay, how about this one here? 61 00:03:48,090 --> 00:03:50,890 Look, it's too much money. 62 00:03:50,930 --> 00:03:52,290 You're a drag. 63 00:03:54,830 --> 00:03:56,000 Hey, this is real nice. 64 00:03:56,100 --> 00:03:57,170 It's wonderful, it's beautiful! 65 00:03:57,200 --> 00:03:58,870 But what're you gonna pay for it with? 66 00:03:58,900 --> 00:04:02,370 Okay, all right. 67 00:04:02,400 --> 00:04:04,140 Come here, look at this one, this is nice. 68 00:04:04,170 --> 00:04:05,210 Low down payment, the works. 69 00:04:05,240 --> 00:04:07,410 Can I help you fellows? 70 00:04:07,440 --> 00:04:08,580 Oh, you're Mr. Forbes? 71 00:04:08,610 --> 00:04:10,450 My name is Lester, I'm from the city college. 72 00:04:10,480 --> 00:04:11,280 This here's my friend, Harry. 73 00:04:11,310 --> 00:04:12,610 -Hi. -Harry. 74 00:04:12,650 --> 00:04:14,550 Hey, we're throwing kind of a bazaar, I mean a carnival. 75 00:04:14,580 --> 00:04:17,120 And you want me to take a chance on an automobile. 76 00:04:17,150 --> 00:04:20,460 Look, I've got 182 cars on the lot now. 77 00:04:20,490 --> 00:04:23,290 No, we were looking for an old jalopy, 78 00:04:23,320 --> 00:04:25,560 one you could hit with a sledgehammer. 79 00:04:25,590 --> 00:04:26,630 For what? 80 00:04:26,660 --> 00:04:28,560 Like, you know, three shots for a quarter, man. 81 00:04:28,600 --> 00:04:29,730 You know, whammo! 82 00:04:29,760 --> 00:04:31,470 You know, guys like to show how strong they are. 83 00:04:31,500 --> 00:04:33,200 That's just another human failing, sir. 84 00:04:33,230 --> 00:04:36,870 The...the occasional need to destroy. 85 00:04:36,910 --> 00:04:39,140 Our psychology prof suggested it for our carnival. 86 00:04:39,170 --> 00:04:43,280 He said the quarters would be bound to roll in. 87 00:04:43,310 --> 00:04:44,480 How much you got to spend? 88 00:04:44,510 --> 00:04:46,210 We got $50. 89 00:04:46,250 --> 00:04:47,220 Half a yard. 90 00:04:47,250 --> 00:04:48,980 That's about enough to buy four used tires, 91 00:04:49,080 --> 00:04:50,550 if there's any rubber left on them at all, 92 00:04:50,590 --> 00:04:51,790 never mind the car to go with it. 93 00:04:51,820 --> 00:04:55,160 Oh, sir, this is a very important project to us. 94 00:04:55,190 --> 00:04:58,130 We're gonna give a small donation to our library fund. 95 00:04:58,160 --> 00:04:59,660 You see, that makes it cultural. 96 00:04:59,690 --> 00:05:01,030 Yeah, very uplifting. 97 00:05:01,030 --> 00:05:03,500 You'll be a patron of the arts! 98 00:05:03,530 --> 00:05:05,430 Well, come back Friday, I'll see if I can't find 99 00:05:05,470 --> 00:05:06,570 some load for you to use. 100 00:05:06,600 --> 00:05:09,770 Oh, hey, you're all right, Mr. Forbes. 101 00:05:09,800 --> 00:05:12,470 Hey, see you around like a doughnut, huh? 102 00:05:17,080 --> 00:05:19,510 (engine starts) 103 00:05:20,080 --> 00:05:21,050 Come on! 104 00:05:21,080 --> 00:05:23,080 All right. 105 00:05:31,430 --> 00:05:33,060 Nice kids, but lunatics. 106 00:05:33,060 --> 00:05:35,360 They want some load they can pound into junk 107 00:05:35,400 --> 00:05:37,130 with a sledgehammer. 108 00:05:37,170 --> 00:05:38,730 That's just one of those things. 109 00:05:38,770 --> 00:05:40,570 Enough sugar in here? 110 00:05:42,670 --> 00:05:44,540 If I tell them to take their lousy 50 bucks and go buy 111 00:05:44,570 --> 00:05:47,080 a pair of roller skates, then I lose the college trade. 112 00:05:47,080 --> 00:05:49,380 So, what're you gonna do? 113 00:05:49,410 --> 00:05:51,910 If I'm not here Friday when they come back, give them that green 114 00:05:51,950 --> 00:05:54,680 '48 coupe, the one with the transmission gone. 115 00:05:54,720 --> 00:05:57,390 I couldn't unload that for more than 80 bucks, anyway. 116 00:06:01,020 --> 00:06:03,060 I'd be just as well off if I wholesaled everything 117 00:06:03,090 --> 00:06:06,160 on this lot and got out of this business once and for all. 118 00:06:06,190 --> 00:06:07,300 What's in it for me? 119 00:06:07,330 --> 00:06:10,400 Oh, don't worry, Dad, I wouldn't be dumping you. 120 00:06:10,430 --> 00:06:12,330 My wife costs me more in that beauty parlor every week, 121 00:06:12,370 --> 00:06:14,070 than you get in your whole pay envelope. 122 00:06:14,100 --> 00:06:15,640 It ain't easy at my age, John. 123 00:06:15,670 --> 00:06:17,870 Nobody wants to take you on when you're this old. 124 00:06:17,910 --> 00:06:19,270 Not that I can't be useful. 125 00:06:19,310 --> 00:06:23,380 Not that I don't move around like I was only half my age. 126 00:06:23,410 --> 00:06:25,850 I know, I heard you. 127 00:06:25,880 --> 00:06:28,080 I'll take care of you. 128 00:06:30,050 --> 00:06:32,950 Just forget what I said, Dad. 129 00:06:33,050 --> 00:06:34,760 You got nothing to worry about. 130 00:06:36,760 --> 00:06:39,060 Oh, Dad, your wife is here with your lunch. 131 00:06:41,060 --> 00:06:42,730 Hello, Mr. Forbes. 132 00:06:42,760 --> 00:06:43,870 Now, what does a nice old gal 133 00:06:43,900 --> 00:06:45,800 like that have to wait outside for? 134 00:06:45,830 --> 00:06:46,740 Kitty? 135 00:06:46,770 --> 00:06:48,900 Yeah, why don't you ever ask her in? 136 00:06:48,940 --> 00:06:50,140 Kitty don't like to come in the office 137 00:06:50,170 --> 00:06:51,940 during business hours, John. 138 00:06:51,970 --> 00:06:53,210 "Don't mix business with pleasure," 139 00:06:53,240 --> 00:06:55,310 Kitty and I always say. 140 00:06:55,340 --> 00:06:57,750 Pleasure, after 47 years? 141 00:06:57,780 --> 00:06:59,750 Kitty ain't so bright these days. 142 00:06:59,780 --> 00:07:01,280 Getting old, you know. 143 00:07:01,320 --> 00:07:03,620 But her and I get along pretty good. 144 00:07:03,650 --> 00:07:05,490 Excuse me, John. 145 00:07:21,670 --> 00:07:23,640 (horn beeping) 146 00:07:25,770 --> 00:07:28,040 You're looking for John, Mrs. Forbes? 147 00:07:28,040 --> 00:07:28,640 Yes. 148 00:07:28,680 --> 00:07:30,080 He's in the office. 149 00:07:30,110 --> 00:07:32,450 Do you always call him John? 150 00:07:32,480 --> 00:07:33,620 Yes, ma'am. 151 00:07:33,650 --> 00:07:35,780 Excuse me. 152 00:07:52,330 --> 00:07:54,600 A trip to New Zealand to see your cousin Nan. 153 00:07:54,640 --> 00:07:56,070 The day after our anniversary party, 154 00:07:56,070 --> 00:07:58,140 I have to get hit with that! 155 00:07:58,170 --> 00:08:00,710 There's no use in raising your voice, John. 156 00:08:00,740 --> 00:08:02,410 I've already called the travel agency, 157 00:08:02,440 --> 00:08:04,110 and I'm determined to get away. 158 00:08:04,150 --> 00:08:06,310 Then you just get down off that high-octane horse 159 00:08:06,350 --> 00:08:07,850 and call the agency back. 160 00:08:07,880 --> 00:08:11,020 Tell them your husband can't afford a trip to New Zealand, 161 00:08:11,050 --> 00:08:13,620 and keep your big mouth shut about this to your fine friends 162 00:08:13,660 --> 00:08:16,590 in the country club. 163 00:08:16,620 --> 00:08:19,790 I'm telling you, Dorothy, the answer is no. 164 00:08:19,830 --> 00:08:21,160 If you advertise it that you're going 165 00:08:21,200 --> 00:08:22,260 and then you don't, 166 00:08:22,300 --> 00:08:24,270 they'll think I've got money problems. 167 00:08:24,300 --> 00:08:26,430 I can't afford that now when business is slow. 168 00:08:26,470 --> 00:08:30,270 First thing you know, the bank'll tighten up on me. 169 00:08:30,310 --> 00:08:32,070 Thanks for the suggestion. 170 00:08:34,210 --> 00:08:36,310 What suggestion? 171 00:08:39,180 --> 00:08:42,150 The value of publicity, darling. 172 00:08:42,180 --> 00:08:44,590 I'll let you figure that one out. 173 00:08:47,360 --> 00:08:48,590 New Zealand! 174 00:08:48,620 --> 00:08:51,390 I'll get her a one-way ticket right out of Cape Canaveral. 175 00:08:51,430 --> 00:08:53,500 Zoom! 176 00:08:53,530 --> 00:08:56,230 Scare the pants right off the man in the moon! 177 00:09:02,700 --> 00:09:04,540 Did you ever hear of a woman like that? 178 00:09:04,570 --> 00:09:08,210 With me in hock and things so slow on the lot? 179 00:09:08,240 --> 00:09:10,010 I've gotta cut expenses. 180 00:09:10,010 --> 00:09:11,150 Who am I working for, anyway? 181 00:09:11,180 --> 00:09:12,010 The country club? 182 00:09:12,010 --> 00:09:12,780 The department stores? 183 00:09:12,810 --> 00:09:13,850 The steamship lines? 184 00:09:13,880 --> 00:09:15,680 (phone ringing) 185 00:09:15,720 --> 00:09:17,050 I'd be better off collecting a salary 186 00:09:17,090 --> 00:09:18,690 from some other poor slob. 187 00:09:18,720 --> 00:09:21,020 Forbes Motor Sales. 188 00:09:21,020 --> 00:09:23,430 You got a what? 189 00:09:23,460 --> 00:09:26,360 A '53 coupe, nice and clean? 190 00:09:26,390 --> 00:09:28,060 Well, that's exactly what you told me about 191 00:09:28,100 --> 00:09:33,200 that mobile hen coop you tried to unload on me last week. 192 00:09:33,230 --> 00:09:34,940 All right, we'll be over, Murph. 193 00:09:35,040 --> 00:09:37,040 But I'll tell you right now, I wouldn't give you more than 194 00:09:37,040 --> 00:09:41,780 five bills for a '53 if you loaded it with blondes. 195 00:09:41,810 --> 00:09:43,410 Okay. 196 00:09:43,450 --> 00:09:44,250 That was Eddie Murphy. 197 00:09:44,280 --> 00:09:47,750 They took a '53 coupe on a trade. 198 00:09:47,780 --> 00:09:49,050 Go over and pick it up. 199 00:09:49,050 --> 00:09:50,920 I gotta get back to the house before the Empress takes off 200 00:09:50,950 --> 00:09:53,920 for the country club and starts to blab about New Zealand. 201 00:09:53,960 --> 00:09:55,220 That's all I need. 202 00:09:55,260 --> 00:09:58,730 Oh, if that car's any good, bring it on out to the house. 203 00:09:58,760 --> 00:09:59,830 Take the car over to the garage 204 00:09:59,860 --> 00:10:01,730 and have them check the universal joint. 205 00:10:01,760 --> 00:10:03,260 I could hear it clanking all the way over. 206 00:10:03,300 --> 00:10:04,570 You need gas, John. 207 00:10:04,600 --> 00:10:06,230 I've got enough to take me home. 208 00:10:06,270 --> 00:10:07,440 Okay. 209 00:10:08,670 --> 00:10:11,570 All right, so I'm a slob without the social graces. 210 00:10:11,610 --> 00:10:14,840 I'm a meatball married to a dime-store queen. 211 00:10:14,880 --> 00:10:16,980 Why do you bother changing? 212 00:10:17,010 --> 00:10:18,580 If you're going to act like an orangutan, 213 00:10:18,610 --> 00:10:20,620 you might as well look like one. 214 00:10:22,350 --> 00:10:24,590 I'm asking you for the last time to get your car 215 00:10:24,620 --> 00:10:27,360 out of the driveway, it's blocking mine. 216 00:10:27,390 --> 00:10:28,790 And I'm telling you for the last time, 217 00:10:28,820 --> 00:10:30,960 you're not going there alone. 218 00:10:30,990 --> 00:10:34,530 Any speeches made at the country club tonight will be made by me. 219 00:10:34,560 --> 00:10:36,130 And if you so much as open your mouth 220 00:10:36,160 --> 00:10:38,000 about that cruise to New Zealand, 221 00:10:38,030 --> 00:10:39,470 I'll tell them you haven't got the price 222 00:10:39,500 --> 00:10:42,040 to take a tin canoe up McClusky's Creek. 223 00:10:43,100 --> 00:10:45,170 Good evening, Mrs. Forbes. 224 00:10:52,850 --> 00:10:55,420 (engine starts) 225 00:11:01,120 --> 00:11:02,060 Dorothy! 226 00:11:02,060 --> 00:11:03,830 You come back here! 227 00:11:03,860 --> 00:11:05,060 I'm sorry for your troubles, John. 228 00:11:05,060 --> 00:11:06,660 It ain't my business, I understand, but it's not 229 00:11:06,700 --> 00:11:07,860 the way a woman should act. 230 00:11:07,900 --> 00:11:09,900 After all I told her, after everything I said. 231 00:11:09,930 --> 00:11:11,170 She's gonna run out of gas in that car. 232 00:11:11,200 --> 00:11:12,900 Like I told you, it was almost dry. 233 00:11:12,930 --> 00:11:14,370 Let her run out of gas. 234 00:11:14,400 --> 00:11:18,410 I hope she has a six-mile hike in her open-toed shoes. 235 00:11:18,440 --> 00:11:19,310 Oh, I better pick her up. 236 00:11:19,340 --> 00:11:21,310 Pour yourself a drink and watch TV. 237 00:11:21,340 --> 00:11:24,580 I'll be 20 minutes, maybe half an hour. 238 00:11:26,210 --> 00:11:36,220 * 239 00:11:36,260 --> 00:11:46,300 * 240 00:11:46,300 --> 00:11:56,240 * 241 00:11:56,280 --> 00:12:06,320 * 242 00:12:06,320 --> 00:12:18,800 * 243 00:12:18,830 --> 00:12:20,070 (screaming, crash) 244 00:12:20,100 --> 00:12:21,540 * 245 00:12:31,880 --> 00:12:33,920 Well, I'm back. 246 00:12:33,950 --> 00:12:35,250 I didn't see my wife. 247 00:12:35,280 --> 00:12:37,920 Pour me a drink. 248 00:12:37,950 --> 00:12:39,520 I had an accident. 249 00:12:43,160 --> 00:12:43,960 Did you hear what I said? 250 00:12:43,990 --> 00:12:45,660 I had an accident. 251 00:12:45,690 --> 00:12:46,960 Anybody hurt much, John? 252 00:12:47,000 --> 00:12:48,760 You run into a car? 253 00:12:48,800 --> 00:12:51,300 No, it wasn't a car, it was somebody walking 254 00:12:51,330 --> 00:12:54,140 out on Mosley Road. 255 00:12:54,170 --> 00:12:56,200 A person's got no right to be walking after dark 256 00:12:56,240 --> 00:12:58,270 along a road like that. 257 00:13:03,040 --> 00:13:05,050 Now... 258 00:13:05,050 --> 00:13:07,820 you better take that car right back to the lot now. 259 00:13:07,850 --> 00:13:09,480 We were here all night, right in this room, 260 00:13:09,520 --> 00:13:10,690 just the two of us. 261 00:13:10,720 --> 00:13:13,050 We were watching TV, you understand? 262 00:13:13,050 --> 00:13:15,060 Come on. 263 00:13:24,200 --> 00:13:25,600 Don't put the lights on yet. 264 00:13:25,630 --> 00:13:27,500 Come here. 265 00:13:30,270 --> 00:13:32,310 It's funny how it got busted. 266 00:13:32,340 --> 00:13:33,740 I don't know if somebody threw a rock at me 267 00:13:33,780 --> 00:13:37,710 or if a bear jumped out and bit a hole in it. 268 00:13:37,750 --> 00:13:40,250 You know what I mean? 269 00:13:40,280 --> 00:13:43,250 I've got a pair of '53 headlights on the lot. 270 00:13:43,280 --> 00:13:48,090 You take care of this, Dad, and I'll take care of you. 271 00:13:48,090 --> 00:13:50,890 I figured you'd take care of me, John. 272 00:13:50,930 --> 00:13:53,330 You told me that before. 273 00:13:53,360 --> 00:14:04,470 * 274 00:14:24,460 --> 00:14:27,060 (screeching tires) 275 00:14:43,680 --> 00:14:44,650 Mr. Forbes? 276 00:14:44,680 --> 00:14:45,980 Yes. 277 00:14:48,420 --> 00:14:50,620 I'm sorry to bother you at this time, Mr. Forbes. 278 00:14:50,650 --> 00:14:51,990 Well, that's all right, I understand. 279 00:14:52,090 --> 00:14:55,160 You fellows have your jobs to do. 280 00:15:07,300 --> 00:15:10,040 (horn honking) 281 00:15:12,470 --> 00:15:14,280 Hey, is that the one over there, Pop? 282 00:15:14,310 --> 00:15:15,440 Man, that must be the car. 283 00:15:15,480 --> 00:15:16,280 Well, let's go. 284 00:15:16,310 --> 00:15:17,410 Wow! 285 00:15:17,450 --> 00:15:18,410 Guys, it'd take three years 286 00:15:18,450 --> 00:15:20,580 to knock the fenders off the crate. 287 00:15:20,620 --> 00:15:23,550 Boy, it feels solid. 288 00:15:23,590 --> 00:15:25,250 Come on, how about it, Pop? 289 00:15:39,770 --> 00:15:42,240 Come on, how about it, Pop? 290 00:15:42,270 --> 00:15:44,770 No, boys, not this one. 291 00:15:44,810 --> 00:15:46,510 Got a souped-up motor and overdrive. 292 00:15:46,540 --> 00:15:48,410 The boss has got a couple of parties interested. 293 00:15:48,440 --> 00:15:49,680 Oh, you're kidding. 294 00:15:49,710 --> 00:15:51,610 Come along, I'll show you. 295 00:15:57,420 --> 00:15:58,950 What do you got in mind, Pop, huh? 296 00:15:58,990 --> 00:16:00,060 Well now, look. 297 00:16:00,090 --> 00:16:01,390 Take this one. 298 00:16:01,420 --> 00:16:02,360 For 50 bucks? 299 00:16:02,390 --> 00:16:03,160 You're kidding. 300 00:16:03,190 --> 00:16:04,330 The rear-end transmission's shot. 301 00:16:04,360 --> 00:16:06,060 Now, the boss says if you take it away now, 302 00:16:06,090 --> 00:16:07,500 you can have it for your carnival. 303 00:16:07,530 --> 00:16:09,030 Thanks, Pop, thanks a lot. 304 00:16:09,030 --> 00:16:13,340 (crosstalk) 305 00:16:14,370 --> 00:16:17,740 (car trying to start) 306 00:16:17,770 --> 00:16:20,080 We estimate that your wife was knocked about 30 feet 307 00:16:20,110 --> 00:16:23,310 into that clump of shrubbery, Mr. Forbes. 308 00:16:23,350 --> 00:16:25,050 Hit-and-run, you figure? 309 00:16:25,050 --> 00:16:26,610 Yes and no. 310 00:16:26,650 --> 00:16:29,520 Whoever it was sure ran, but there were some 311 00:16:29,550 --> 00:16:32,720 interesting tire tracks along the shoulder of the road. 312 00:16:32,750 --> 00:16:36,160 Someone could have taken dead aim. 313 00:16:36,190 --> 00:16:38,560 Do you think that's possible? 314 00:16:38,590 --> 00:16:42,060 Anything is possible, Mr. Forbes. 315 00:16:42,100 --> 00:16:45,070 But we checked the tire tracks, 316 00:16:45,070 --> 00:16:47,370 they don't match those of your car or your wife's. 317 00:16:47,400 --> 00:16:51,940 (car trying to start) 318 00:16:57,380 --> 00:16:59,410 Come on, get it going. 319 00:17:04,150 --> 00:17:04,720 Hey, Pops. 320 00:17:04,750 --> 00:17:05,890 Yeah, what's the matter? 321 00:17:05,920 --> 00:17:07,190 This thing won't run, the battery's dead. 322 00:17:07,220 --> 00:17:08,520 There's nothing the matter. 323 00:17:08,560 --> 00:17:10,190 Just get it going, that's all, and back it out of here. 324 00:17:10,230 --> 00:17:12,730 Come on, Lester, give me a shove. 325 00:17:12,760 --> 00:17:15,030 Try it again. 326 00:17:15,060 --> 00:17:16,160 (car trying to start) 327 00:17:16,200 --> 00:17:18,200 I understand that you were home last night. 328 00:17:18,230 --> 00:17:19,030 Yes, that's right. 329 00:17:19,030 --> 00:17:20,800 I was home all night. 330 00:17:20,840 --> 00:17:22,200 Was anyone with you? 331 00:17:22,240 --> 00:17:23,340 Yes, Dad was. 332 00:17:23,370 --> 00:17:25,670 He's the man that works for me. 333 00:17:25,710 --> 00:17:28,510 He came over a little while after my wife left. 334 00:17:28,540 --> 00:17:29,910 What for? 335 00:17:29,940 --> 00:17:31,350 Well, to keep me company. 336 00:17:31,380 --> 00:17:33,050 Have a couple of drinks. 337 00:17:33,080 --> 00:17:36,820 I'm not much for the country club. 338 00:17:36,850 --> 00:17:38,850 All right, Mr. Forbes, 339 00:17:38,890 --> 00:17:41,260 I guess that's all for now. 340 00:17:41,290 --> 00:17:42,120 Thanks for your help. 341 00:17:42,160 --> 00:17:44,390 That's all right. 342 00:17:52,300 --> 00:17:53,640 That the right mileage on this '56? 343 00:17:53,670 --> 00:17:57,310 One thing we never do is change the speedometers. 344 00:17:57,340 --> 00:17:59,240 Not a bad buy at that price. 345 00:17:59,270 --> 00:18:02,810 Hey, Pop, where were you last night? 346 00:18:02,840 --> 00:18:03,910 Me? 347 00:18:04,010 --> 00:18:05,410 I was out at John's. 348 00:18:05,450 --> 00:18:07,650 What time were you there? 349 00:18:07,680 --> 00:18:08,880 After 5:30. 350 00:18:08,920 --> 00:18:11,490 I guess I stayed till 10:00. 351 00:18:11,520 --> 00:18:13,220 Well, what'd you do out there? 352 00:18:13,250 --> 00:18:16,560 Oh, we had some drinks and watched some television. 353 00:18:16,590 --> 00:18:18,460 Two westerns and a giveaway. 354 00:18:18,490 --> 00:18:19,590 Come on, Lester, give me a shove. 355 00:18:19,630 --> 00:18:21,260 John's very nice about those things. 356 00:18:21,300 --> 00:18:22,200 I had a chicken leg, 357 00:18:22,230 --> 00:18:24,370 some olives, and a half box of candy. 358 00:18:24,400 --> 00:18:26,530 Was Mr. Forbes there all night? 359 00:18:26,570 --> 00:18:27,370 Sure he was there. 360 00:18:27,400 --> 00:18:28,940 Him and me together, we had a ball. 361 00:18:29,040 --> 00:18:31,040 Okay, come on, come on. 362 00:18:31,070 --> 00:18:31,940 Harder, man. 363 00:18:32,040 --> 00:18:33,140 Come on. 364 00:18:35,680 --> 00:18:36,640 All right, Pop. 365 00:18:36,680 --> 00:18:37,910 Thanks. 366 00:18:37,950 --> 00:18:40,650 I may call on you later to make it official. 367 00:18:40,680 --> 00:18:42,480 Charlie? 368 00:18:57,630 --> 00:18:58,670 You think it went all right? 369 00:18:58,700 --> 00:19:00,300 It went better than that, Dad. 370 00:19:00,340 --> 00:19:02,000 Don't worry, I'll take care of you. 371 00:19:02,000 --> 00:19:03,370 I have to get back to the undertaker now. 372 00:19:03,410 --> 00:19:04,870 Make it look good with the relatives. 373 00:19:04,910 --> 00:19:08,740 You don't have to worry about that car no more. 374 00:19:08,780 --> 00:19:10,210 I don't? 375 00:19:10,250 --> 00:19:12,310 Them college boys was just here. 376 00:19:12,350 --> 00:19:17,250 They just bought that problem for 50 bucks. 377 00:19:17,290 --> 00:19:29,860 * 378 00:19:29,900 --> 00:19:31,100 Can I keep it, Dad? 379 00:19:31,130 --> 00:19:33,030 Why do you think I got it for you? 380 00:19:33,070 --> 00:19:34,340 How much was it? 381 00:19:34,370 --> 00:19:36,100 Never mind how much it was. 382 00:19:36,140 --> 00:19:37,510 You didn't steal it, did you? 383 00:19:37,540 --> 00:19:38,110 No. 384 00:19:38,140 --> 00:19:41,940 * 385 00:19:42,040 --> 00:19:42,680 Thank you. 386 00:19:42,710 --> 00:19:43,780 Come on, come on. 387 00:19:43,810 --> 00:19:48,620 * 388 00:19:48,650 --> 00:19:51,120 Nice carnival, huh? 389 00:19:51,150 --> 00:19:53,390 Yes, it is. 390 00:19:53,420 --> 00:19:56,220 * 391 00:19:56,260 --> 00:19:57,830 Mr. Forbes was very nice to me 392 00:19:57,860 --> 00:19:59,460 when I seen him this afternoon. 393 00:19:59,490 --> 00:20:02,700 He said you don't have to worry anymore about your job. 394 00:20:02,730 --> 00:20:04,600 John said that, huh? 395 00:20:04,630 --> 00:20:06,770 I guess that's the least he could say now. 396 00:20:06,800 --> 00:20:11,370 * 397 00:20:11,410 --> 00:20:14,910 Besides, Mr. Forbes gave me $10. 398 00:20:14,940 --> 00:20:16,180 $10 for what? 399 00:20:16,210 --> 00:20:17,780 He thought we might have a real nice time 400 00:20:17,810 --> 00:20:18,880 at the carnival. 401 00:20:18,910 --> 00:20:21,380 I thought maybe we could eat here tonight 402 00:20:21,420 --> 00:20:23,020 at the carnival, Dad. 403 00:20:23,050 --> 00:20:24,520 Well, maybe we will. 404 00:20:24,550 --> 00:20:27,860 * 405 00:20:27,890 --> 00:20:29,620 Come inside and see the death car. 406 00:20:29,660 --> 00:20:31,030 Only 50 cents. 407 00:20:31,060 --> 00:20:32,960 Three shots for 50 cents. 408 00:20:32,990 --> 00:20:34,760 All right, folks, come on, gather around, you only get 409 00:20:34,800 --> 00:20:36,260 three shots for half a rock now. 410 00:20:36,300 --> 00:20:37,370 Come on, step inside. 411 00:20:37,400 --> 00:20:38,400 Come on, shake the angel cake 412 00:20:38,430 --> 00:20:39,200 out of your blood. 413 00:20:39,230 --> 00:20:40,340 Come on, see how strong you are. 414 00:20:40,370 --> 00:20:41,940 Step up, come on inside. 415 00:20:41,970 --> 00:20:45,470 It may be the last chance you'll ever have to see that death car. 416 00:20:45,510 --> 00:20:46,680 Well, let's see, what do you say? 417 00:20:46,710 --> 00:20:47,410 Come on, that way. 418 00:20:47,440 --> 00:20:48,810 Come on in, sir, come on in, now. 419 00:20:48,840 --> 00:20:51,310 Come on, 50 cents, only 50 cents. 420 00:20:51,350 --> 00:20:52,810 Three shots for 50 cents. 421 00:20:52,850 --> 00:20:54,280 Come on, come on inside. 422 00:20:54,320 --> 00:20:54,750 Come on! 423 00:20:54,780 --> 00:20:55,680 Yeah! 424 00:20:55,720 --> 00:20:56,950 Whoa! 425 00:20:56,990 --> 00:20:58,690 Whoa! 426 00:20:58,720 --> 00:21:00,090 Whoa! 427 00:21:00,120 --> 00:21:02,060 (all yelling) 428 00:21:02,060 --> 00:21:04,060 Only three shots for 50 cents. 429 00:21:04,060 --> 00:21:04,790 Thank you very much. 430 00:21:04,830 --> 00:21:05,730 Who'll be next? 431 00:21:05,760 --> 00:21:06,700 Step right up, sir! 432 00:21:06,730 --> 00:21:07,530 Step right up! 433 00:21:07,560 --> 00:21:10,370 * 434 00:21:10,400 --> 00:21:11,600 Thank you, sir. 435 00:21:11,630 --> 00:21:13,600 Roll your sleeve up a little higher so the ladies can see 436 00:21:13,640 --> 00:21:15,570 that pretty tattoo. 437 00:21:15,600 --> 00:21:18,440 This may be modern man's last chance to strike back 438 00:21:18,470 --> 00:21:19,840 at the Industrial Revolution, 439 00:21:19,870 --> 00:21:21,580 so watch this man go. 440 00:21:21,610 --> 00:21:24,450 * 441 00:21:24,480 --> 00:21:28,180 (cheering) 442 00:21:45,900 --> 00:21:48,000 You don't have to worry about that car no more. 443 00:21:48,100 --> 00:21:50,210 You couldn't tell it from a plate of pizzas. 444 00:21:50,240 --> 00:21:51,970 You didn't talk to anybody about it, did you? 445 00:21:52,010 --> 00:21:53,170 Who, me? 446 00:21:53,210 --> 00:21:54,540 How would I talk? 447 00:21:54,580 --> 00:21:57,850 After all, we're kind of partners now. 448 00:21:57,880 --> 00:22:00,050 You know what I mean? 449 00:22:00,050 --> 00:22:01,580 No, what do you mean? 450 00:22:01,620 --> 00:22:05,790 I mean, I wouldn't want to mention that busted headlight. 451 00:22:05,820 --> 00:22:11,360 Except a man my age, he's got to be practical. 452 00:22:11,390 --> 00:22:13,460 Yeah, I suppose that's true. 453 00:22:13,500 --> 00:22:15,200 You said you'd take care of me. 454 00:22:15,230 --> 00:22:17,970 You told me you would. 455 00:22:24,540 --> 00:22:27,080 Listen, John, I never said a word to a soul. 456 00:22:30,680 --> 00:22:33,420 All right, Pop, carnival's over. 457 00:22:33,450 --> 00:22:34,850 You better come with us. 458 00:22:34,880 --> 00:22:36,580 You fellas are kidding, huh? 459 00:22:36,620 --> 00:22:37,720 Yeah, that's right, Pop. 460 00:22:37,750 --> 00:22:39,190 We're playing a game. 461 00:22:39,220 --> 00:22:40,990 The same as you were Wednesday night, 462 00:22:41,090 --> 00:22:44,360 when you ran over Mrs. Forbes on Mosley Road. 463 00:22:44,390 --> 00:22:46,430 I'm telling you fellas, I was out at his house. 464 00:22:46,460 --> 00:22:48,100 We had some drinks and we watched a show. 465 00:22:48,130 --> 00:22:51,100 No, Pop, you got there after Mrs. Forbes left. 466 00:22:51,130 --> 00:22:53,370 You saw her walking along the shoulder of the road, 467 00:22:53,400 --> 00:22:55,940 and then knocked her off like a 10 pin. 468 00:22:55,970 --> 00:22:57,540 He did it! 469 00:22:57,570 --> 00:22:58,740 He killed her! 470 00:22:58,770 --> 00:23:01,580 He didn't give away a $500 crate for 50 bucks, Pop. 471 00:23:01,610 --> 00:23:04,810 Not so that some crazy kids could whack it into junk. 472 00:23:04,850 --> 00:23:06,720 We checked with the boys at the college. 473 00:23:06,750 --> 00:23:08,080 I'm telling you, he hated her! 474 00:23:08,120 --> 00:23:09,420 You've got to listen to me! 475 00:23:09,450 --> 00:23:12,190 We're not checking into Mr. Forbes' love life, Pop. 476 00:23:12,220 --> 00:23:14,590 The fact of the matter is he didn't have 477 00:23:14,620 --> 00:23:16,930 a broken headlight hidden in his house. 478 00:23:16,960 --> 00:23:18,830 At least not one that matched 479 00:23:18,860 --> 00:23:22,760 the glass we found on Mosley Road. 480 00:23:22,800 --> 00:23:24,870 Come on, Pop. 481 00:23:24,900 --> 00:23:25,930 Kitty! 482 00:23:25,970 --> 00:23:27,170 Kitty! 483 00:23:27,200 --> 00:23:28,470 Kitty! 484 00:23:31,310 --> 00:23:32,740 Did you hear Dad? 485 00:23:32,770 --> 00:23:34,280 Was he calling me? 486 00:23:34,310 --> 00:23:36,780 Well, I'm not sure, he might have been. 487 00:23:36,810 --> 00:23:39,650 He's been a good husband to me, Dad has. 488 00:23:39,680 --> 00:23:41,950 We ate out tonight, the two of us. 489 00:23:41,980 --> 00:23:46,620 I want to thank you for the $10, Mr. Forbes. 490 00:23:46,650 --> 00:23:49,260 That headlight you asked me about today. 491 00:23:49,290 --> 00:23:51,960 I never asked him why he had it hid. 492 00:23:54,260 --> 00:23:58,300 I get so nervous at night, when I can't find Dad. 493 00:23:58,330 --> 00:24:02,240 * 494 00:24:02,270 --> 00:24:03,510 Would you take care of me? 495 00:24:03,540 --> 00:24:06,140 * 496 00:24:09,210 --> 00:24:13,110 I'm sorry to say that Honest Alfred's Cold War 497 00:24:13,150 --> 00:24:17,390 Surplus Store has been forced to close. 498 00:24:17,420 --> 00:24:21,560 Our buyers just didn't keep up their monthly payments, and it 499 00:24:21,590 --> 00:24:24,890 was rather difficult for us to get in touch with them 500 00:24:24,930 --> 00:24:27,700 after they got into orbit. 501 00:24:27,730 --> 00:24:31,270 Here's news from a more successful entrepreneur, 502 00:24:31,300 --> 00:24:35,070 after which I shall return. 503 00:24:36,910 --> 00:24:40,480 By the way, those of you who witnessed tonight's crime 504 00:24:40,510 --> 00:24:44,480 will be glad to learn that the party who perpetrated it 505 00:24:44,510 --> 00:24:48,180 has been justly punished. 506 00:24:48,220 --> 00:24:50,590 I refer not to the recent commercial, 507 00:24:50,620 --> 00:24:53,620 but to John Forbes' murder of his wife. 508 00:24:53,660 --> 00:24:57,130 When I last heard, the person responsible for the commercial 509 00:24:57,160 --> 00:24:59,330 was still at large. 510 00:24:59,360 --> 00:25:02,130 The big ones always get away. 511 00:25:02,160 --> 00:25:05,130 Next week, I shall be back with another story. 512 00:25:05,170 --> 00:25:07,170 Until then, good night.